Single motherhood: when the time is right
Posted on 10.8.15
Helen wasn’t in a rush to have a baby, she was enjoying single life and thought she’d have a baby one day. But when she reached 33 she stopped waiting for Mr Right and decided to go it alone.
“You hear it all the time... ‘I haven’t met the right man yet’. That was certainly the case for me. I had a fun, full and fantastic life, I never felt I needed a partner, so I never looked for one. I knew I wanted a family but I always thought it would just happen.
In 2007 I met a lovely lady who had adopted a little boy as a single women (having tried and failed at IVF). It had never even occurred to me that I could have a baby on my own. She and her son were clearly very happy and I decided that if I was still single when I turned 33 that I would look into it.
A few years passed and as my 33rd birthday approached I started to think more about having a child. I brought it up casually in conversation with family and friends to see what their reaction would be. Every single person was positive about it - my mum and sister especially so.
I bought endless books about going it alone. And the more I read, the more certain I felt that I could do this. I knew it would be hard going but I was tough enough. And if at the end it didn’t work, I would know that I had tried and I wouldn’t spend the rest of my life wondering ‘what if...’.
My local hospital offers fertility treatment and treats single women, but I didn’t want to be the one that stuck out in the waiting room, the only woman on her own. So I decided to have my treatment in London, where I grew up. I also wanted to give myself the best possible chance of success.
So Google played its part – ‘Single woman, fertility treatment, London’. The London Women’s Clinic in Harley Street came up. Just the name itself filled me with confidence! My next move was to make contact. I was a bit nervous but there was no need to be as the staff were incredibly friendly. Within a few weeks I was on my way to see one of the consultants and my journey into treatment-land had begun!
My treatment started with IUI and I had seven unsuccessful rounds. As the rounds went on I wanted it to work more and more. I got a bit further when one of my eggs fertilised, but sadly this ended in a miscarriage. It broke my heart. After this I decided it was time to bring out the big guns – IVF here we come.
My first round just wasn’t right, the drugs didn’t suit me. I knew that it was unlikely to work, so it wasn’t a big surprise to find it didn’t. But the LWC had learnt all they needed from round one and I moved on to IVF round two.
Everything went perfectly this time and I produced lots of lovely healthy eggs. A couple of days later I was back at the clinic to have one embryo implanted. Then the dreaded two-week wait. Except that I didn’t need two weeks, I knew after two days. I just felt different and I knew it had worked.
Zoe was born in June 2014 and she is absolutely perfect. A couple of hours after she arrived the nurse put her in the cot beside my bed while they attended to me. I burst into tears when they put her back in my arms. It was because I’d been waiting to hold my baby for years and now she really was mine – I hadn’t just imagined it.
A year on I know that picking up the phone to call the LWC was the best thing I could have ever done. With their help, and the support of my wonderful family and friends, I have a little family all of my own. My life is completely different now but I wouldn’t change a thing.”
If you are a single woman and want to find out more about treatment at the London Women's Clinic, please call us on 020 7563 4309 or attend one of our open days.
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