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It’s about the journey…

Tracey Sainsbury, Senior Fertility Counsellor
Tracey Sainsbury, Senior Fertility Counsellor

Over the past week there has been a lot in the news about adoption numbers reducing due to the increased chances of success through IVF.  Although it’s true that over the last few years success rates from fertility treatments have increased – especially thanks to better freezing techniques and improvements in genetic testing – many women and couples struggling with infertility feel that it’s unfair to assume that they should adopt rather than try for a baby of their own.  Social media has been full of comments from fertility patients and parents of adopted children alike expressing their opinions on a such a difficult subject. Fertility Network’s Anya Sizer says ‘As a parent of IVF children and an adopted child I can say they are both amazing routes to parenthood but adoption is NOT for everyone and we must stop assuming it’s the fix for infertility’.

As the fertility industry matures, new initiatives mean infertile men and women’s chances of having successful treatment are better than ever.  However, sadly, for some women and couples their fertility journey does not end with a baby in their arms.  Here at the LWC, we take the time to talk about your journey to have a family.  For some women and couples this may mean considering different options such as IVF or treatment using donor sperm or donor eggs and for others it may mean the end of their journey at the clinic.  

Our Senior Counsellor Tracey, a mum via adoption herself, says ‘making the move to a new stage in your journey to have a family is often what I call a “51% decision”.  It’s when you’re ready to accept that the path you were on has now taken a new turn.  For some this might mean stopping treatment and starting a new journey to adopt.  But for others it might mean continuing on the same journey.  Either way, adoption might not be the right path for you and that’s ok.

Each of us is an individual, each of us knows how we feel inside and how we manage how the outside world sees us. Frustratingly it’s common for the outside world, especially people who love and care for us, to want to help when we’re feeling low; fertility struggles often routinely send us really low and even more frustratingly, sometimes those who want to help will ask “Why don’t you just adopt?”.  It can be even more frustrating when those we don’t know so well ask us this too.  Adoption brings it’s own complex issues too and more support is needed for parents of adopted children.’

Throughout a patient’s journey at the LWC counselling is always available to support you through your treatment and explore your feelings and thoughts.  This could be discussing using donor eggs and sperm and how this will fit with your plans or other options you may need to consider in the future. At the end of the day, how you want to have a family is up to you and the LWC is here to support you in your decision making and help make your dream of a family achievable.  For more information on how the LWC can help, please visit our support hub.

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