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Using a Sperm Donor to Start Our Family

Knowing that they would need to use a sperm donor, Darel and Lauren came to London Women’s Clinic to benefit from their experience in same-sex fertility. Read their story below.

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We had been trying to start our family with the help of the NHS for a while, before we decided that it wasn’t for us. As a couple going through a same-sex fertility journey we sometimes felt that we weren’t being treated equally; I was going to be carrying our baby, which meant that a lot of the attention was on me and my wife felt sometimes excluded.

My wife and I wanted to be equal partners in our journey to becoming mothers, so we turned towards private fertility clinics that had experience with same-sex fertility and sperm donation. This is when we came across London Women’s Clinic and London Sperm Bank. After attending a London Women’s Clinic Inseminar, it was clear that we had made the right decision. We were so impressed with the reputation and success rates of the clinic, as well as their experience with same-sex fertility. We knew that London Women’s Clinic and London Sperm Bank were the right choice for us.

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When it came to choosing our sperm donor from London Sperm Bank, we were surprised by how easy this was. The donor database was extremely comprehensive and we were very easily able to find a selection of donors who matched our desires. Initially our plan was to prioritise choosing a sperm donor who had similar characteristics as my wife, to improve our chances of our baby looking like her. However, we were so moved by the staff impressions of each of the donors that these were actually the deciding factors!

Reading through them all gave us the opportunity to truly get to know the sperm donors and understand their motivations for donating. In particular, we were touched by one donor who was described as “really friendly and welcoming”. This sounded really special to us, as we felt like he was a kind and caring person. We decided that this was going to be our donor.

Even when my wife was unable to attend a scan, it was always made clear that she was a part of this process too – we were a team going through this together.

When you’re a couple going through fertility treatment, particularly same-sex fertility treatment, you always prepare yourself for failure. You know that you might not become pregnant on the first try, and may have to try again. But for us, we didn’t even make it to this point. Our first round of treatment was abandoned because my body didn’t stimulate and they couldn’t collect any eggs. It felt like we had failed before we had even started, and it was really hard news to receive. However, with the support of the clinic staff we tried again.

This time, we purchased a treatment package that guaranteed us two rounds of IVF – although we became pregnant on the first! This was such a huge win for us and we were so pleased. If anything, we felt like our abandoned cycle had prepared us for the realities of same-sex fertility treatment and IVF, so we became more realistic and grounded when undergoing our second attempt.

9 months after our insemination, our beautiful baby boy was born! We named him Ruben.

Going through our same-sex fertility journey and using a sperm donor, we knew that they were going to be challenges along the way. Which is why we were so grateful to London Women’s Clinic for how they supported both of us – myself and my wife included. We were never judged about being a same-sex couple, and were always treated like equals. Even when my wife was unable to attend a scan, it was always made clear that she was a part of this process too – we were a team going through this together.

At London Women’s Clinic, we never felt like another statistic. The personal touch from the staff members makes all the difference, and we can’t wait to try for another baby with London Women’s Clinic again.

If you are a same-sex couple looking to start your family, please contact a friendly member of our enquiries team on 02075634309 to find out more.

Or to visit our same-sex fertility treatment page, click here.

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