Reciprocal IVF and shared motherhood in the UK

Reciprocal IVF is a fertility treatment that allows both partners to have a biological or physical role in creating and carrying a pregnancy. One partner provides the eggs, which are fertilised with donor sperm through IVF, while the other partner carries the resulting embryo and gives birth.

Also known as Shared Motherhood, this approach offers couples a way to experience different parts of the journey to parenthood together. At London Women’s Clinic, we’ll assess both partners and talk through your health, fertility and family plans to help you understand whether reciprocal IVF could work for you.

Book a consultation to discuss reciprocal IVF with our fertility specialists and learn more about what treatment would involve.

What is reciprocal IVF?

Reciprocal IVF is a form of IVF treatment in which eggs from one partner are fertilised with donor sperm in the laboratory, creating an embryo that is transferred to the other partner’s uterus. Often called shared motherhood IVF or shared parenthood, it gives both partners the opportunity to take part physically in conception and pregnancy.

Is reciprocal IVF the same as shared motherhood?

Yes. Reciprocal IVF, shared motherhood and shared parenthood are different terms for the same type of fertility treatment. The wording you encounter may vary between clinics and other sources, but reciprocal IVF is the main term we use throughout this guide.

Who might choose reciprocal IVF?

Reciprocal IVF is most commonly chosen by lesbian and same-sex female couples who would like both partners to share different aspects of conception and pregnancy. It may also be relevant to other LGBTQIA+ couples where one partner can provide eggs and another can carry the baby.

There are many reasons why couples explore shared motherhood IVF. Some value the opportunity for one partner to have a genetic connection to their child while the other experiences pregnancy and birth. For others, decisions about who provides the eggs and who carries may be influenced by age, ovarian reserve, reproductive health, medical history or previous fertility treatment.

Reciprocal IVF isn’t the only fertility option available to same-sex couples, and you don’t need to have decided on each partner’s role before speaking to a specialist. We can discuss your preferences alongside the clinical factors that could influence your treatment.

How does reciprocal IVF work?

Reciprocal IVF follows the same core stages as conventional IVF, with treatment planned around both partners. The exact timeline will depend on your individual circumstances and whether you have a fresh or frozen embryo transfer, but you can generally expect the following steps.

Step 1: Fertility tests and consultation

Your first consultation focuses on understanding both partners’ health, fertility and preferences. The partner planning to provide eggs will usually have tests to measure factors such as ovarian reserve, while the partner hoping to carry will have checks focused on their reproductive health.

Your specialist will review the results alongside your ages, medical histories and any previous fertility treatment. You can also discuss your preferences around each partner’s role, using donor sperm and whether you hope to have more children in the future.

Step 2: Ovarian stimulation and egg collection

The partner providing the eggs takes fertility medication to stimulate the ovaries so that several follicles develop during the cycle. Regular scans allow your clinical team to monitor the response and determine the right time for collection.

Egg collection is a short procedure performed under sedation. An embryologist then checks which eggs are mature and ready for fertilisation.

Step 3: Fertilisation with donor sperm

Reciprocal IVF requires sperm to fertilise the collected eggs. You can choose sperm from a donor through a licensed sperm bank or, in some circumstances, use a known donor. Our clinic will discuss with you when you’ll need to make this decision and which type of sample is required for treatment.

Once you have selected a donor and the sample is available, the embryology team fertilises the mature eggs in the laboratory and monitors any resulting embryos as they develop. We’ll cover donor choice and the role of our partners at London Sperm Bank in more detail later in this guide.

Step 4: Embryo transfer to the carrying partner

The carrying partner will receive medication where needed to prepare the lining of the uterus for embryo transfer. Your clinical team will monitor their progress and plan the transfer for the appropriate time. Depending on your treatment plan and how both partners respond, transfer may take place during the same treatment cycle, or an embryo may be frozen and transferred at a later date.

During embryo transfer, a specialist places the selected embryo into the uterus using a thin catheter. Any additional suitable embryos can potentially be frozen and stored for future treatment.

Step 5: Pregnancy test, scan and follow-up

Your clinic will tell you when to take a pregnancy test after the embryo transfer; usually around two weeks later. If the result is positive, we’ll arrange an early pregnancy scan at the appropriate time to check how the pregnancy is developing.

If the test is negative, your clinical team will talk through the outcome with you and discuss what you might want to do next, including whether you have frozen embryos available for another transfer.

Fresh vs frozen reciprocal IVF

Reciprocal IVF can involve either a fresh or frozen embryo transfer. With a fresh transfer, the embryo is transferred to the carrying partner during the same treatment cycle in which the eggs are collected and fertilised. The embryo does not need to be frozen first. This means both partners’ treatment needs to be carefully coordinated so that the uterine lining is ready at the right time.

Alternatively, embryos can be frozen after fertilisation and transferred during a later cycle. This gives the clinical team more flexibility to plan each partner’s treatment separately and allows time to prepare the carrying partner for transfer without needing to synchronise both cycles.

Your specialist will advise whether to plan a fresh or frozen transfer based on how each partner responds to treatment, embryo development and other clinical factors. Freezing embryos can also be beneficial if you hope to use additional suitable embryos for future use.

Which partner should provide eggs and which should carry?

Choosing who will provide the eggs and who will carry the pregnancy is both a personal and clinical decision. You may already have clear preferences, or you might want to understand more about each partner’s fertility and reproductive health first.

Age and ovarian reserve are particularly important for the partner providing eggs as they can influence the number collected and the likelihood of creating suitable embryos. Your specialist will also review medical history and any previous fertility treatment when discussing what to expect from ovarian stimulation and egg collection. You can view London Women’s Clinic’s latest success rates for more information about treatment outcomes across different age groups.

For the carrying partner, the focus shifts to their general and reproductive health as well as any factors that could affect pregnancy or embryo transfer.

Your long-term family plans can play a part too. For example, some couples may want to use embryos created from the same partner’s eggs for future siblings, while others may hope to switch roles for a later pregnancy. You don’t need to make all of these decisions at the outset, but discussing them early can help your team plan treatment with your future goals in mind.

Using donor sperm in reciprocal IVF

Donor sperm is needed to fertilise the eggs collected during reciprocal IVF. You may choose a donor from a sperm bank or use someone you already know, but treatment through a UK-licensed fertility clinic provides important safeguards around donor screening, consent and legal parenthood.

London Women’s Clinic works closely with London Sperm Bank, whose specialist team will guide you through choosing and arranging donor sperm. They’ll help you navigate donor profiles, understand the screening process, choose the sample type you need and arrange your order. London Sperm Bank will then coordinate with your team at London Women’s Clinic to make sure everything is in place for when you’re ready to begin treatment.

Legal parenthood and consent in the UK

Providing the eggs does not determine who is legally recognised as the child’s mother in reciprocal IVF. Under UK law, the person who gives birth is the child’s legal mother, regardless of whose eggs were used to create the embryo.

If the carrying partner is married or in a civil partnership, their spouse or civil partner will generally be recognised as the child's other legal parent. If you aren't married or in a civil partnership, both partners will need to complete the relevant consent before treatment so that the non-carrying partner can become the second legal parent. London Women’s Clinic will explain which forms you need to complete and answer any questions before treatment begins.

Consent also covers how eggs, sperm and embryos are used and stored, and it can have important implications if your circumstances change. We’ll explain embryo storage in more detail later in this guide.

Legal parenthood can be complex, so this information is general rather than legal advice. Your London Women’s Clinic team can explain the consent requirements relating to your treatment, and you should seek specialist legal advice if you have questions about your individual circumstances.

Screening requirements for reciprocal IVF

Both partners will have health checks before reciprocal IVF begins. The partner providing the eggs will need screening for HIV and hepatitis B and C, in addition to potential other tests based on factors such as medical history or previous travel. Your team will explain which checks each of you need as part of your treatment planning.

Before November 2024, the partner providing the eggs had to undergo the same enhanced screening as an egg donor. The law has since changed to recognise eggs provided to a partner as a partner donation. This means couples having reciprocal IVF now follow the same screening requirements as other couples undergoing IVF. Your clinical team will confirm exactly which health checks you both need before treatment begins.

What happens to unused embryos?

If you have suitable embryos remaining after your first transfer, you may choose to freeze and store them for future treatment. This could allow you to try for another pregnancy without repeating ovarian stimulation and egg collection, and allow the opportunity for siblings using embryos created from the same eggs and donor sperm.

Both partners will need to provide consent covering how the embryos can be stored and used. In the UK, embryos can currently be stored for up to 55 years, with consent renewed every 10 years. It’s important to keep your contact details up to date so your clinic can contact you when renewal is due.

What you want to do with your stored embryos may change over time. London Women’s Clinic will explain your options for continued storage, future treatment or ending storage if you no longer wish to keep them.

How much does reciprocal IVF cost in the UK?

The cost of reciprocal IVF in the UK will depend on your individual treatment plan. Costs can include consultations and fertility tests, IVF treatment, medication, donor sperm, embryo freezing and storage, as well as a frozen embryo transfer if this takes place during a later cycle.

London Women’s Clinic will explain the expected costs before treatment begins so you know what is included and which additional fees may apply. You can also view our fertility treatment prices for the latest information on current costs and payment options.

Can you get reciprocal IVF on the NHS?

NHS funding for fertility treatment varies across the UK, with local eligibility criteria determining which treatments are available and who can access them. This means funding for reciprocal IVF or other fertility treatment for same-sex couples may differ depending on where you live.

If you’re hoping to access NHS-funded treatment, check the criteria set for your local area or speak to your GP about what may be available. London Women’s Clinic can also explain the treatment itself and the private options available if NHS funding isn’t accessible to you.

Reciprocal IVF vs IUI with donor sperm

Both reciprocal IVF and IUI with donor sperm can help same-sex female couples build their family, but the treatments work differently and involve each partner in different ways.

With donor IUI, sperm is placed directly into the uterus of the partner who plans to become pregnant around the time of ovulation. This is a simpler, less invasive treatment than IVF and may be an option where there are no significant fertility concerns that could affect the likelihood of conception.

Reciprocal IVF involves both partners physically in treatment: one provides the eggs and the other receives an embryo and carries the pregnancy. It requires ovarian stimulation, egg collection and laboratory fertilisation, so there are more stages, medication and procedures involved than with IUI.

Your decision may come down to a combination of your fertility, age, medical history, family plans and how you would each like to participate. London Women’s Clinic can talk you through the differences and help you understand which route is best for you both based on your priorities and clinical needs.

Benefits and considerations of shared motherhood

For many couples, one of the attractions of shared motherhood is the opportunity for both partners to experience a direct role in creating their family. One partner can have a genetic connection to the child through their eggs, while the other experiences pregnancy and birth. Research into shared motherhood at London Women’s Clinic found that mothers valued sharing the journey to parenthood and described different ways of experiencing closeness and connection within their families. Reciprocal IVF can also provide choices for future pregnancies, such as using stored embryos or potentially switching roles where clinically possible.

There are practical and medical factors to weigh alongside these benefits. Reciprocal IVF involves fertility medication and egg collection for one partner, while the other will undergo preparation and monitoring for embryo transfer. You’ll also need to factor in donor sperm, treatment and storage costs, consent decisions and the possibility that more than one cycle or transfer may be needed.

Choosing who provides the eggs and who carries can also bring up personal or emotional questions for both partners. Fertility counselling offers a confidential space to talk through your choices, donor conception and what shared motherhood may mean for you and your future family.

Why choose London Women’s Clinic?

London Women’s Clinic has extensive experience helping LGBTQIA+ couples build their families through fertility treatment, including reciprocal IVF and donor conception. Our specialists will take the time to understand both partners’ health, preferences and future family plans before creating a treatment plan tailored to you.

You’ll have access to leading fertility specialists, embryologists and nursing teams throughout treatment, alongside specialist counselling if you’d like additional space to talk through shared motherhood, donor conception or the decisions involved.

Read Lauren and Lisa’s experience of shared motherhood to learn about their experience of reciprocal IVF at London Women’s Clinic.

Next steps

If reciprocal IVF feels like something you’d like to explore, you can start by meeting with one of our fertility specialists. You and your partner can ask questions, talk through your preferences and learn what treatment could involve based on your individual circumstances.

You don’t need to have decided who will provide the eggs or carry the pregnancy before you come to see us. We can also explain donor sperm, screening, consent, embryo transfer and storage as you begin planning treatment.

Book a consultation to start discussing reciprocal IVF with our fertility specialists, or speak to our team if you have questions before making an appointment.

FAQs

What is reciprocal IVF?

Reciprocal IVF allows two partners to take different roles in an IVF cycle. Doctors collect eggs from one partner and fertilise them with donor sperm, before transferring an embryo to the partner who hopes to become pregnant.

Is reciprocal IVF the same as shared motherhood?

Yes. Shared motherhood is another name commonly used for reciprocal IVF, while some clinics and sources use the term shared parenthood. The names differ, but they generally describe the same way of sharing the biological and physical stages of IVF between two partners.[1] 

Is reciprocal IVF legal in the UK?

Yes. Reciprocal IVF is legal in the UK and can take place at an HFEA-licensed fertility clinic. Before starting, you’ll both complete the relevant treatment and parenthood consent forms, and your clinic will talk you through the legal considerations that apply.

Can both mothers be legal parents?

Yes, in many cases both partners can be recognised as legal parents. If the person giving birth is married or in a civil partnership, their spouse or civil partner will generally become the child's second legal parent. For couples who aren't married or in a civil partnership, you’ll generally need to complete specific parenthood consent forms before treatment begins. Your clinic can explain the requirements, but you should seek specialist legal advice if you have questions about your individual circumstances.

Who is the birth mother in reciprocal IVF?

UK law recognises the person who gives birth as the child's legal mother. This remains the case if their partner provided the egg. Different rules determine whether the other partner becomes the child's second legal parent, so it’s important to complete any necessary consent before treatment.

Do we need donor sperm?

For a same-sex female couple having reciprocal IVF, donor sperm provides the sample needed to create embryos using one partner's eggs. You can choose a donor through a licensed sperm bank such as London Sperm Bank.

Which partner should provide the eggs?

There isn't one answer that works for every couple. Your specialist will consider factors including each partner's age, ovarian reserve and medical history alongside your personal preferences and any genetic connection you would like to have with your child. Your future family plans may also influence your decision.

Which partner should carry the baby?

The decision will take into account the health and reproductive history of the partner hoping to carry, including any factors that could affect pregnancy. Personal preference matters too, and your specialist can discuss these considerations with you before you decide on your roles.

Can we switch roles for a future sibling?

This can be possible for some couples. If you think you may want to reverse roles for another pregnancy, mention this during your initial discussions so it can form part of your longer-term planning. Your ages, fertility and health when you return for treatment will help determine what is possible.

What happens to unused embryos?

You can choose to freeze suitable embryos that remain after your transfer, potentially allowing you to use them in another attempt or for a future sibling. Storage requires consent from both partners, which you'll need to keep up to date. If your circumstances change, London Women’s Clinic can explain your options for continued storage, future use or ending storage.

Is reciprocal IVF more expensive than IUI?

Reciprocal IVF generally involves more stages than donor IUI, including ovarian stimulation, egg collection, laboratory fertilisation and embryo transfer, so the overall cost is usually higher. Medication, donor sperm, freezing and storage can also affect what you pay. See London Women’s Clinic's fertility treatment prices for current fees.

Can reciprocal IVF be NHS-funded?

Funding depends on local NHS eligibility policies, which vary across the UK and can change. Your GP or local NHS commissioning body is the best place to check whether funding may be available where you live.

Are there extra screening tests for reciprocal IVF?

Both partners will have screening and health checks before reciprocal IVF begins. The exact tests you need will depend on your role in treatment, medical history and individual circumstances. Your London Women’s Clinic team will explain which checks are required and arrange these as part of your treatment planning.

References / Further reading

Reciprocal IVF - HFEA (2016)

Becoming the legal parents of your child - HFEA (2016)

Consent to treatment and storage - HFEA (2016)

HFEA welcomes changes to the law on screening in fertility treatment - HFEA (2024)

Ways to become a parent if you're LGBT+ - NHS (2023)